As with any interaction between humans, it is always important to ask three questions:
- Is this a power/control relationship? is one party using their access to resources to make others who have been denied access do something they otherwise would not do?
- Is this about satisfying an addiction? Is the relationship seen as a means to and end.. fulfilling a need?
- Is this a genuine exercise in the discovery of love and intimacy?
These questions are not necessarily limited to how we interact with each other as humans. These questions can also be applied to how we interact with animals and nature itself.
What is our intention? What is the interaction about?
Power and Control
The use of, and the abuse of, power and control is not a new concept. Roman soldiers used to take 10 year old boys with them on their long journeys. And it wasn’t just to act as a valet.
Shepherds have been known to get closer to their sheep than perhaps some would think was acceptable. From the Shepard’s perspective it seems normal after awhile and provides a little release.
Soldiers would go off to war for months at a time and place chastity belts on their wives. Now, that couldn’t have been comfortable for the women.
Slave owners have often sired children with their slaves. The slave owners felt they were doing these women a favour offering them the ability to raise “superior” children. There really wasn’t much of a concern whether the women were “in the mood” for sex or not.
13-year-old girls are still sold off today as brides in some countries.
Regardless of whether the sex was with a child, an animal, or a women (a heterosexual encounter) none of these scenarios is good. We could argue forever about which of these scenarios is worse. The only thing that is clear is that in each of these situations the rights of another is being abused. Even the sheep. They might not have been “in the mood” either.
So, in this instance, anyone using homosexual or heterosexual as a term to justify or not justify a behaviour is obfuscating – or confusing – the discussion. It’s not about the labels. It’s simply about an abuse of power.
Fullfilling an Addiction
If you have ever witnessed the behaviour of an addict, one thing becomes clear. As the addiction deepens, the ability to filter “wrong” from “right” gets tainted, and the justification for certain behaviours gets stretched. Sometimes to a large degree.
Sex addictions in particular can lead to a lot of what one might call “abnormal” behaviours or encounters. Once again, this is not about labels. This is about satisfying an addiction. In these situations, humans will engage in behaviours that they would not normally engage in. From animals to kids to heavy machinery. The list goes on.
Once again. Discussing and/or condoning the various acts performed by an addict is not really going to get one very far. An addict will find a way around any rules set. Or die trying. The discussion must be about the underlying cause of the addiction in the first place. And a viable solution. (Which generally comes down to a lack of real connection and positive human interaction. Often rooted in the childhood experience).
Genuine Love an Intimacy
The bottom line is “What the World Needs Now, is Love, Sweet Love”
It really shouldn’t matter what form this comes in. It is mutual? Is it consentual? Does it lift the parties involved up? Does it make you happy? Does it make the other person happy?
Then you’re on to something. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Crossing the Boundaries
When my mother was growing up, the fear and focus in her surroundings was on sexual “deviance”. Meaning that there was an alertness and a fear towards being molested as children, and toward the sexual abuse of women. There was, or had been, instances of sexual “deviance” in her inner circles, and therefore for her as an adult she had a heightened alertness for this type of behaviour.
As a child, having a parent on the lookout for such things as child predators is not such a bad thing. Many children are not offered that protection. The problem was that, because there was fear surrounding the issue in general, the definition of “sexual deviance” can become quite broad. Such that anything sexual that occurs other than on Saturday at 10:00 in the morning may be considered deviant. Certainly sex before marriage was taboo. And any sex outside the “norm” was all lumped together and considered deviant. It was easier to keep track that way.
So, to her, to say that you were a homosexual – you might as well say you are a pedophile. Deviant is deviant. Once you go down that road of sexual exploration there are no more boundaries… it all leads to something bad. Really bad.
The Bogey Man
I was not raised in a “God-Fearing Christian” household. But as I have been tuning in these days to what is going on in the world, I have come across some people saying some very intelligent, cool things to do with current affairs… but then they insert their very strong views on Gays and how this is definitely a sin and they are all going to end up burning in hell.
Years ago I couldn’t have listened to these people at all. I couldn’t take the good with the bad. These days, I am becoming better at appreciating what positive things they do have to contribute, and am less taken aback by their strong views on some issues I completely disagree with.
The reason is simple. I understand that the reason they feel the way they do is because they are afraid. An what they are afraid of truly does exist. They are afraid of the evil, or dark forces on the planet, that truly do exist. And these darker forces do indeed engage in sexual acts for the purposes of furthering their dominance and control. As well of for the purposes of fostering addictions. Which also increases their power and control. This is all true.
So when you are trying to fight the demons, and you are fearful of them, sometimes you spray bullets everywhere. When you are afraid of the dark everything looks like the bogey man.
The longer term solution to all of this is simply to shed more light on the planet. Turn the lights on so that people are more able to see who the bogey men really are. And then some of the barriers can be taken down. And there can be more understanding and acceptance of anyone who is truly acting with the best of intentions. No matter what they are doing.
Some Questions That Have Been Asked With Regards to This Post
What about the fact that gender neutralization is being used as a form of population control? Isn’t there a “secret agenda” to promote homosexuality in order to get us confused and to give up our control over our “family values” and reproductive rights?
Many things are being used to control the population. Yes, there are those that push the belief that the world is too crowded. That we don’t have enough food on the planet to feed everyone, therefore we should think twice before bringing more children onto the planet. The simple truth is that these same people know that with this many humans on the planet, it is far more difficult to control them. It is far more difficult to profit from the shenanigans they are playing – such as taking over large plots of land to harvest resources (gold, oil, uranium, diamonds..etc) – because there are potentially too many voices speaking up against the wars and the violence and the thievery.
The truth of the matter is that there are plenty of resources available to feed everyone. The only reason people are starving is that someone else stole their land and turned them into refugees so they cannot grow their own food and take care of themselves. Yes, with more people, we do risk the fact that the planet could become more polluted with garbage and toxins. But the technology already exists for clean energy and self-sustainable living. It is just being suppressed. One reason that it is being suppressed is that if the toxin levels of the planet increase, more people will die at a faster rate – “solving” the over-population dilemma. In the mean time, large profits are made selling drugs to treat symptoms created by the pollution and toxins in the environment. Unfortunately, this is all about power and control and profit, not about what is best for the human race.
So yes, in this context, there are those who believe that if they can get all humans to voluntarily sterilize themselves, or render themselves unable to bear and raise children, this would be a good thing. But really, this is a different discussion altogether. The point we are making is that people should have MORE freedom, not less. Believing two people of the same gender can be together is not the same as believing everyone should be gay, or everyone should be androgynous, or everyone should become infertile. This is not only about Freedom of expression. It is Freedom to be. Freedom to Live. And Freedom to love. Whoever you are.
Doesn’t opening the door to homosexuality lead to pedophilia?
This is a very old fear. The assumption is that loving another human is the same as raping another human. They are obviously not the same thing.
People who rape a child – even under the guise of “loving that child too much” – are in a category of their own, and really do interfere with “family values”. And no, that’s not love. To love another human is to allow them free will, not to manipulate them into a situation because they are young and vulnerable. And actually, at least 50% of child rapists would consider themselves heterosexual, not homosexual. Which completely derails the theory that homosexuality leads to pedophilia. Perhaps one could argue statistically that the opposite is true?
Throughout history, in certain cultures men have actually been encouraged to rape their wives. And to put them in chastity belts when they went off to war so no other man could “have her”. That’s not family values either. That’s not love. That is power and control and rape. But ok, yes, I guess it was heterosexual sex so it was ok. While they were off at war, when they invaded a village, often they would rape both the women and the children. That’s not practicing family values either, but that’s ok, because it was “the enemy”.
One really has to question where these belief systems come from, where do we want to take them from here, and how do we reconcile it all. At then end of the day, the ultimate test is love.